


Wild and Free

by Hollandzeis



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: David and Patrick babysit, Family Fluff, Ted and Alexis are great parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25262512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollandzeis/pseuds/Hollandzeis
Summary: David and Patrick babysit their nieces.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 5
Kudos: 96





	Wild and Free

David takes a long look around the living room and sighs. He doesn’t know what possessed Patrick to agree to babysit for their nieces, overnight, in their definitely not child-proofed house, but Alexis and Ted were supposed to be dropping them off any minute now. He loves the girls, he really does, but it was rare that he had to be in charge of them or even spend time with them one-on-one since the Rose-Mullens lived in New York full time. The idea was a little…overwhelming, to say the least.

He feels Patrick slide up behind him and wrap his arms around his waist. “It’s going to be fun, David. If we can keep them from hitting an 8 on the emotional scale - and that includes happy - we are in the clear. If we’re teetering on a 7 our plan will be to split them up and distract. Sound good to you?” 

David hums in response. “Mmm-kay, but I don’t trust myself with either of them. If I do something wrong or mess them up Alexis will freak out more than she does normally and I can’t handle that.” His husband laughs and kisses his shoulder right as the bell rings. 

“We got this, David. Time to let the monsters in.” Patrick gently shoves David towards the door, walking with him to greet the Rose-Mullens. They open the door to see Ted holding Juniper, the younger of the sisters, and Alexis fixing the braided bun on top of five year old Margot’s head. 

“Hey guys!” Patrick greets their guests. “Come on in!” He holds the door wider and steps aside as Margot strides in like she owns the place. 

“Thank you guys SO MUCH for doing this!” Alexis says as she leans in to hug Patrick. “Ted and I never bring babysitters on vacation so we never get to go out by ourselves outside of the city. And the girls are so excited, they’ve spent all day planning out the evening.” 

Ted laughs and agrees, passing the three year old in his arms to David. “The only hard boundary we’re leaving you with is they aren’t allowed to attempt world domination until they are teenagers. They know that, right Juni? Other than that, your rules apply.”

“Yeah, they have stuff in their bag, Mari’s carrying it, but whatever you want to feed them, whenever you want them in bed, we don’t care. We’re just so grateful you’re doing this! Best brothers ever!” Alexis scrunches up her face and boops David’s nose, caressing her daughter’s cheek as she brings her hand down. “I can’t wait to hear about your super fun night, baby Juni. Can I have a kiss before Daddy and I go?” Juniper dives into her mother’s arms and pecks her lips before burying herself in her neck. “Bye, Mama. I’ll see you in the morning?” 

“Yes, baby, we’ll pick you up while you’re sleeping and go back to the motel. When you wake up we will be there with you!” 

“Okay. Bye Daddy!” Ted takes his turn for a kiss goodbye from Juni and turns around to look behind David and Patrick. “Margot, Mama and I are leaving! Can we say bye to you?” Margot jumps up from the coffee table art book in the living room she had been flipping through and runs into Ted’s arms. 

“Bye, Daddy, bye Mama. I hope you have a very romantic date.” Alexis laughs and places a kiss on Margot’s head before setting Juni down, Ted doing the same with Margot. “Thanks Mari, I’m sure we will.” She grabs her husband’s hand and looks at her brothers. “Call us if you need anything, okay?” 

David could see the slightest hint of worry in his sister’s eyes, so he pushes his own anxiety away to reassure her. “We got this, Alexis. Now go, have fun on your ‘very romantic date.’” He ushers Ted and Alexis out the door and closes it behind him. He makes eye contact with Patrick and rolls his eyes dramatically. “Here we go, I guess.” Patrick chuckles and looks across the room at the girls, who had quickly made themselves at home and were busy unpacking the bag Alexis had mentioned. 

“What do you guys have there?” Patrick asks the duo, sitting on the floor next to them. 

“We have so much fun stuff. Mama and Daddy buy us so much fun stuff and we wanted to play with you but you don’t have toys. So we brought our toys! Look, this is paint sticks and this is play silks and this is my faaaavvvvorite book about lining things up. It’s called The Line Up Book. And look, more books too! But Mama packed them so I don’t know what they are. It’s a surprise! And my FAVORITEST!” David watches as Juniper pulls out a plastic container filled with…trash. Finger-sized wooden cones, buttons, rocks, shells, peg clothespins, little felt balls…wasn’t three too young to play with things that small? Juni notices his confusion and announces, “These are loose parts. I like to play pretend with them.” 

“Mommy lets you play with these things? What if you choke?” 

“They don’t go in your mouth, silly. Juni knows that.” Juniper nods along with her big sister’s words. “I do know that.” 

Patrick laughs at the girls, then takes the container from Juni. “Can I check them out?” Juniper bounces in excitement. “YES!” 

“I asked if I could bring the magna-tiles and Daddy said yes but they made the bag too heavy, so I decided to take them out. Do you have any?” Margot looks up at them hopefully, her face falling when her uncles shake their heads no in unison. “Oh. Okay.” Her eyes scan the contents of the bag, now spread all over the living room floor, before she reaches for the paint sticks. “Uncle David, Mama lets me do these on the windows. I know how to get it off, you just need some soap on a paper towel. Can we do it on a little spot so I can prove it works and then Juni and I can decorate your windows for you? We’re really great artists.” 

David looks at Margot. He had to give credit where credit was due; the thoroughness of her argument for using paint in his spotless house was impressive…of course Alexis’s child would be gifted enough to know how to get her way without debate. He glances at Patrick, hoping he would jump in and save him from having to answer, but his husband was busy trying to build something out of tiny wooden blocks and listening to Juni explain the dynamics of her “family” of clothespins.

“Sure, Margot. I guess we can try a small spot and see how it dries. Let’s go to the kitchen though, so your sister doesn’t see and get her hopes up before we know if we can play with them.” She jumps up and grabs her uncle’s hand as they walk into the kitchen. David feels his heart soften a little with her tiny hand in his. Maybe this babysitting thing wasn’t something he needed to worry about, after all.

Margot carefully takes the red paint stick and draws a hollow heart on the glass door leading out to the back porch from the kitchen. She stands in front of it and watches as it dries. “Uncle David?”

“Yes?”

“I really like your house.”

“Thanks, Margot. I’m happy you get to spend some time here tonight.” David was surprised as he said the words, realizing he meant them. He felt like he knew his nieces but living in a different country from them meant he and Patrick could only be so involved in the day to day of their lives. It felt like just yesterday Margot was born, when in actuality she was going to be starting kindergarten in two weeks when her family got back to the States. 

“Me too. Mama was a little worried. I heard her tell Daddy she wasn’t sure if you wanted us here in your space.”

David wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Oh?” 

Margot turns to look at her uncle instead of her window art. “She said you never ask to spend time with us so you might not be comfortable. So she didn’t want to ask you to watch us. But Daddy said you and Uncle Patrick would be honest if you didn’t want us to come. I’m happy you wanted us to come.”

David gives Margot a gentle smile. “You and your whole family are always welcome here. Forever. Does that sound okay to you?” 

Margot nods back and walks over to the sink. “Okay, my heart is dry. Let me show you how to take it off!” She rips off a paper towel from the roll and squirts a little bit of hand soap onto it before getting it wet. She walks over and gently scrubs her heart off of the window. “See? It comes right off!” David inspects the window for any traces of red before nodding in satisfaction. “Awesome, Margot! I don’t see why we can’t use these on the windows then. Should we go grab your sister?” 

“You can, I’m going to start drawing for her so she can color them in!” David smiles and goes back into the living room.

“Hey Juni, your sister started painting on the kitchen windows with your paint sticks! Want to go join her?” 

“YAY! I’m an artist!” Juniper hops up from her position on the floor and runs to the kitchen. David reaches out a hand to pull Patrick up from the floor. 

“Paint? On the windows? Who are you and what have you done to my husband?” Patrick teases. David gives him a light swat on the arm and a peck on the cheek. “Margot proved it wipes right off and doesn’t stain. That said, we definitely need to supervise, especially the wild three year old, before our walls are victimized. Come on.” They walk into the kitchen to find nine rainbow outlines already drawn by Margot, and Juni uncapping all of the paints as she decided which one to use first. 

“Mmm, I say start with purple! It’s Uncle Patrick’s favorite.” David offers. Juniper swirls around to grin cheekily at him and picked up the green. “Well, Daddy’s favorite is green, and I like him better than Uncle Patrick, because he does the voices for my toys the right way.”

Patrick gasps in mock offense before scooping his niece off the floor. “Well then, I guess I’ll have to use the purple myself!” He tosses her as he gives a final dramatic huff and takes the purple for himself. David grabs his phone and starts taking pictures of the three as they paint the window. He chooses his favorite - Patrick sitting on the floor with the purple between Juni with the green and Margot with the red, all focused on their rainbows - and sends it to Alexis. 

David: It doesn’t necessarily fit the carefully crafted aesthetic I spent years cultivating, but here we are  
Alexis: OMG!!  
Alexis: SOOOOO cute. I’m melting  
Alexis: Thanks for letting them paint David  
Alexis: I love when they decorate the whole window with patterns  
Alexis: [image attached]  
[image attached]  
Alexis had sent two pictures of the huge windows off the living room of their NYC penthouse, the first with the windows covered in flowers of all sizes and the second with colorful little fish all over it. David smiles and responded back with three black heart emojis, watching the bubble pop up as Alexis continued to type.

Alexis: Are they behaving? They never have problems with babysitters but if we need to come get them now we can  
David: They are perfect, Alexis. We’re happy they’re here  
Alexis immediately sent back a string of kiss and heart emojis. David smirked at his phone and put it down to focus on the artists in front of him. 

After about 30 minutes of painting, the door was covered in rainbows - some with the traditional ROYGBIV stripes, some a product of creative freedom. David and Patrick couldn’t help themselves from taking a picture of their nieces in front of their creation, and acquiesced to Juni’s demands for a selfie of all of them. 

David glances at the clock and notices the time. “So, I guess we better feed you girls, right? Mama won’t like it if we let you starve!” 

Patrick winks at Margot before replying, “Ehh, do we have to? I’d rather save the pizza all for myself!”“NOOO, Uncle Patrick, you should share a pizza! Daddy and Mama say portion control is IMPORTANT!” Juni corrects, flabbergasted at her uncle’s request. The men laugh at her indignant response while Margot smiles at her sister. “He’s teasing, Juni.” David tells her to ease her worries. “Ignore silly Uncle Patrick. Now, more importantly…what do you girls like on your pizza?” 

Once the pizza was ordered and the girls went back into the living room to play with some of the other toys they brought, Patrick looks at his husband with a glint in his eye. “You may not like this, but…what if we set out an old blanket outside on the grass and let the girls have an old-fashioned picnic dinner? I think we’d really solidify ourselves as the best uncles ever.” 

“Mmm, well, we’re the only uncles they have so I don’t think pulling out any more stops is necessary.” 

“C’mon, David, it will be fun.” 

“No, it’s fun to eat indoors, in the air conditioned, bug-free kitchen. Where people are supposed to eat.” 

“Okay, well, I’m in the mood for a picnic. You can eat in here if you don’t want to join us.” Patrick smirks at his husband, knowing full well David would be joining them, if only to save face with his nieces. David rolls his eyes and ignores Patrick as he pulls out dishes and fills a pitcher with water. David heads back to the living room and to find Margot and Juni running marbles down the arm of the couch and catching them in a silk scarf they brought.

“What are you ladies playing?” 

“Catch! Look, I drop the marbles and then they roll and roll and roll and then DROP and Marg catches them in the playsilk!”

“I’m really impressed with this whole set up. Can I see the silk? Uncle Patrick never agrees to play dress up with me but these are perfect.” 

“Oh, that is so sad, we love dress up! We play Project Runway with Mama all the time. She makes these into dresses and shirts and headbands and EVERYTHING! Mama’s really talented,” Margot adds.

David allows himself a soft smile as he runs the long scarf through his fingers. He remembered his own days of playing dress up with Alexis. Sometimes they could sneak into their mom’s closet or wig room but even when they couldn’t, Moira Rose ensured there were always lots of pieces available for her children to play in, especially once their child actor careers began. 

Juniper starts stripping off the dress she arrived in and stands in front of David in her underwear. Holding out a lilac playsilk, she asks, “Can you make this into a top like Moana’s for me?”

David folds the fabric so it became a thin band, then wraps it twice around the tiny three year old’s chest and ties it in place. Juni picks up an identical scarf and requests a “matching sarong,” which David immediately gets to work fastening on her. 

Meanwhile, Margot had tied two rainbow-dyed scarves at the corners and slid it over her shoulders and was working on tying a blue scarf around her waist to finish her dress. David looks over at her when he finishes helping Juni and bunches a scarf into the hair tie holding her long curls up. “You look beautiful, Mari.” 

Margot makes eye contact with her uncle and smiles. She leans forward and rests her head on his shoulder for a minute before softly asking, “Do I look like Mama?” David swallows the lump that appears in his throat without permission and nods in response. “You look so much like her. You have the same smile, and hair…” 

“But Daddy’s eyes!” 

David nods again and runs his hand down her arm. “A perfect mix!”

“I’m not like Mama or Daddy! I’m like MOANA!” Juni yells, inserting herself into the conversation as she bounces on the couch, right as Patrick makes his way in the room. He swoops her up and throws her on his hip, taking in the new outfits decorating his nieces. 

“It seems like you girls are dressed perfectly for a…pizza picnic!”

“A picnic?? Yay, Uncle Patrick! Yay! Marg we get to have a PICNIC!”

“Thanks Uncle Patrick! Can we go wait in the front yard so we can see when the pizza gets here?”

“Sure, just grab your shoes so you don’t step on anything gross.” David gives one last helpless look to Patrick before sighing and following the excited girls to the door. Once they make it outside, Patrick busies himself with blanket set up on their large yard and pours fresh water into the water bottles the girls had brought with them. David stubbornly sits on the blanket and watches as the girls run around, waiting for their pizza. Patrick finishes setting up just in time to accept the pizza from the delivery man and races Margot and Juni back to the blanket.

Patrick dishes out the pizza before sitting next to David and laying his legs across his lap. As they start on their dinner he bumps his elbow into David’s and murmurs, “See? This is nice.” David ignores him and instead joins the girls’ conversation about the best pizza toppings. 

Once they finish their dinner, Patrick joins the girls in a game of tag that turns into lightning bug catching with the sunset. David takes a few more pictures before packing up the dishes and blanket from the picnic, setting it all in the kitchen for them to deal with later. He finds a mason jar and brings it out to Margot, who had been trying to balance keeping the four bugs she had already caught captive while collecting a fifth. She squeals in delight, shouting her thanks at David before softly encouraging the bugs into the jar. Juni dances around, self-aware enough to know she wasn’t going to catch one without a strike of luck but living her best life anyway. 

They let the girls stay out until the sky turns dark enough they start risking the bigger nighttime animal visitors. Patrick and David each grab a girl and help them set the lightning bugs free before hauling them inside. 

“I don’t think I’m brave enough for bath time, Patrick.” 

“Alexis texted me and told me not to worry about it, she’d shower them in the morning. I think we should skip dessert and start to calm them down so we can hopefully have them asleep in the next hour.” David nods in agreement and turns to Margot.

“Hey Mari, can you find the pajamas you guys packed? Whoever is in their pajamas first gets to choose the first book Uncle Patrick reads to you!”

The two girls race each other to the living room, giggling all the way. David takes advantage of the suddenly vacant room and gives Patrick a deep kiss, pulling back when he hears Juni shriek. “Mmm, we’re really good at this,” Patrick mutters in his husband’s face. David rolls his eyes and pulls Patrick to the living room.

“Marg won but she has bigger arms than me so she is faster!”

“No, I won because you started dancing in your underwear because you wanted to make me laugh so I would lose!”

“No YOU danced in your underwear!”

“No I didn’t, Juni!”

“YES!”

Patrick intervenes. “Oh, well what I’m hearing is that Mari gets to pick the first book I read, but that means JUNI gets to pick the first book Uncle David reads!”

“YAY!” Juni shakes her shoulders in a way reminiscent of an excited Alexis. Margot purses her lips. “But Uncle Patrick reads first, right?”

“Right,” Patrick confirms. She gives him a triumphant smile but knows better than to brag to Juni and risk the three year old’s recognition of her loss.

Patrick and David quickly clean up the scattered contents of the bag so it would be easy for Alexis and Ted to grab when they arrived while the girls sort through the few books they brought. Once they made their choices Patrick and David lead the girls down the hall to their guest room and all climb up onto the bed together.

After both men read the chosen stories, they get out of the guest bed and give each girl a kiss on the forehead. 

“Goodnight, girls. Thank you for coming to spend time with us tonight. We had a lot of fun, didn’t we?” Patrick asks.

Juni nods. “Can we come over again someday? And then I can choose the book Uncle Patrick reads and Marg can choose the book Uncle David reads?” 

David gives a small laugh. “Sure, Juni. Maybe…maybe Uncle Patrick and I can even buy a few special books to keep at our house and we can read them to you on Facetime.” 

Patrick melts at his husband’s words. He reaches over and grabs David’s hand. 

“Thank you Uncle David and Uncle Patrick for letting us come over.” Margot smiles at them before flipping herself over and snuggling into the bed. Patrick runs his free hand over her hair and starts walking towards the door. 

“We’ll be in our room next door if you need us. Sleep well girls, we’ll see you tomorrow.” Patrick turns the light off while David gently shuts the door. 

The two men collapse into bed. David groans.

“Ugh, they are exhausting. How do Alexis and Ted do this all day everyday?” 

Patrick smirks. “Probably a lot of coffee and alcohol. But those girls are so worth it. They're just wild and free, like your sister. ”

David turns on his side and watches his husband’s face closely. After a few minutes of silence, he quietly asks, “You are still okay with our decision not to have kids, right? I haven’t changed my mind but…you seemed so happy with the girls tonight.” 

Patrick moves to face David and brings his hands to his cheeks. He looks his husband in the eyes. “David, I love the life we have. I was very happy with the girls tonight, but I am even more happy I don’t have the responsibility or sacrifices we would have to make in order to have kids. I have not changed my mind.” 

David relaxes and snuggles closer to his husband. “Okay. Thank you for clarifying for me. I love you.” The two begin to doze while they waited for Ted and Alexis to return. 

About an hour later, David stirs when he hears a soft knock on the door. He softly presses his lips to Patrick’s temple and gets out of bed to answer the door. 

“Hey,” he whispers as he holds the door open for Ted and Alexis. “Did you have fun?” 

They both quietly murmur agreements, and Alexis’s smile widens as she glances around the quiet house. “They’re asleep?” 

“Even Patrick. They wore him out.”

Ted laughs. “Are they in the guest room? I’ll bring them to the car.” David nods and watches him walk away. 

Alexis reaches out and grabs David’s hands. “Thank you David. I...it means so much that you did this for me. I know you don’t love kids so-“

David cuts her off. “Alexis, they are mini yous. I love them. I am not afraid of them and it’s not a burden to babysit for you, okay? I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I don’t want kids of my own but I am here for you when you need time for yourself and your marriage. Even though I don’t live close. They’re my nieces.”

Alexis’s eyes glisten and her right hand leaves David’s to brush away not-yet-fallen tears from her eyes. “Ugh, I’m sorry, I know I’m being dramatic. I’m happy you had a good night with them and they didn’t scare you off. They are so easy and fun, right? But like...do you think if I add a third kid to look after you might change your mind?” 

David’s jaw drops as he processes the news. “Oh...my god. Alexis, really?”

His sister nods and brushes her hair away from her face. David takes a minute and lets himself appreciate how her face has matured with age - it is now the slightest bit slimmer, with some almost imperceptible fine lines he has never noticed before. She looks gorgeous, still, but he could tell the biggest differences in his sister have come from internal growth - motherhood has further changed her, even more so than the loss of their money, her education and career, or even her relationship with Ted. David was struck with an overwhelming sense of pride at the woman his baby sister had become. 

Alexis keeps her eyes on the reaction on his face with a small smile on her own. Ted walks by them, carrying Margot and stepping out of the house to buckle her into her car seat in the back of their rental car. David wraps Alexis in a hug, kisses her temple, and congratulates her.

“Do the girls know yet? Or Mom and Dad?” 

“No, I just told Ted at dinner. I took the test this morning, but I stopped taking my birth control two months ago so it wasn’t a surprise. We’re just ready for a baby around the house again now that Margot and Juni are so independent. You can tell Patrick but we’re going to wait to tell anyone else until I hit the second trimester.”

David sighs in happiness at his sister’s words and grabs Ted’s arm as he squeezes past them to go get Juni. “Congratulations, dad,” he tells him softly.

Ted’s face lights up and he throws his arm around Alexis’s shoulders. “Thanks, big guy! I am so excited. The girls are going to die when they find out.” He kisses Alexis’s cheek in happiness before turning back and walking to the guest room. 

Alexis turns her attention back to David and asks, “Will you come for the birth this time? It’ll be the third time I’ve done this, you can believe me now when I say your presence will not be stressful or overwhelming for anybody.” 

David tries to hide his smile from his sister. “Okay, Alexis. I’ll start planning now if you tell me when your due date is once you go to the doctor. I’m not coming in the room though, I’ll stay at your home with the girls and take them to see the baby after you birth them into the world.”

Alexis smirks. “Deal.” Ted walks back in, this time with a sleeping Juni. 

“Ready to go, Lex?” 

“Yes, we should get going. It’s late. David, you are the best brother ever for taking them tonight. Sorry, sorry, I can’t stop saying it.” She hurriedly adds as she clocks the offended look on her brother’s face, “These pregnancy hormones are making me all weepy and grateful. We’ll see you guys at 12:30 at the cafe for lunch before we go catch our flight, does that still work for you?”

“We’ll make it happen. See you guys tomorrow, and congratulations again.” David passes her the bag they brought and holds the door open for them, sharing one last smile with Alexis before he watches her follow Ted and a passed-out Juni to the car. He locks the door and heads back to his bedroom, where he quickly goes through his nighttime skincare routine and makes his way to bed. He settles down into the covers and rests his head on Patrick’s shoulder, finally allowing himself to fully relax and join his husband in dreamland.


End file.
